“Tonight’s Game”
By Brian Pinto
B: Hello and welcome to Caged-In Stadium. My name is Bob Brave and I’m here with the great Jack Benimble.
J: Good to be here Bob.
B: Tonight we have a quite the match-up between the Arctic Werewolves and the Hackensack Humans. Both teams have really surprised us this year and this should be a good match-up.
J: That’s right, Bob. It could get ugly out there, but I think we’re in for some real exciting stuff.
B: Well, lets get started with tonight’s starting lineup. Playing centerfield and leading off for the Humans is Chet the Cheetah. Chet leads the league in stolen bases, but has had trouble with balls up against the wall.
J: I guess cheetahs aren’t great climbers.
B: Yes, I read that to. Online. Batting second and playing third base is Ziggy the Zebra. He has been having an incredible defensive year although he seems to be in a tiff with the shortstop.
J: Well, I was talking to someone in the clubhouse earlier, Bob, and he told me Lucas the Lion tried to eat Ziggy after Wednesday nights record setting 7 hour, 24 inning ball game.
B: He must have been pretty hungry to put his career in jeopardy like that. Well hopefully they can settle their differences. Lucas “the king” the Lion is batting third and playing shortstop. Batting cleanup and playing left field is Big “Bad Boy” Billy the Bear. Bad Boy Billy now leads the league in home runs after scoring that inside the park home run last week in Tampa.
J: What amazed me was he hit a soft grounder back to the first basemen. Something about Bad Boy Billy just scared off the first basemen and no one was willing to get close enough to make the tag.
B: Yea, you bearly ever see that.
J: That’s funny, Bob.
B: Thanks, Jack.
B: Batting fifth and our designated hitter, is Reilly “The Rhinoceros” the Rhino. Reilly has what we think is the most uncreative nickname and the thickest skin in the game.
J: Yea, he’s been receiving a lot of bashing in the media this week because of that whole horn incident.
B: That’s right Jack, let’s just say he is not the musician we thought he was, but he is still out there smiling. Batting sixth is catcher Otis the Orangutan. He has had a very up and down year, Jack. Be quick and tell us what has been happening.
J: Well Bob, after coming over from Indonesia 2 years ago, he has been feeling habitually ill. He has missed 5 games this season, refusing to come down from a tree each time.
B: I guess he really has had an up and down season.
J: That’s funny, Bob.
B: Thanks Jack. Batting seventh is second basemen Prince the Penguin. He is new to the team after being brought up from the minors a couple days ago. He gets his first start tonight. Batting behind him at number 8 is first basemen Gary the Giraffe. Though a liability at the plate, his reach at first base is easily the best in the league.
J: I believe he has trouble seeing the ball and being a tall guy his large strike zone makes him easy to pitch to.
B: Yea, Gary actually was an all-star basketball player at Duke, but chose baseball because he killed a guy accidentally by kicking him in the skull going up for a rebound. He’s a great guy though and a hell of a first basemen.
J: Yea, he would stick his neck out for anybody.
B: That’s funny Jack.
J: Thanks, Bob.
B: And of course, batting ninth, our man we love to hate, playing right field Sammy the Seal.
J: Man I love that Sammy. He is one hell of a crowd pleaser. He got into some trouble though last week for putting on a show for the fans during game play.
B: Ha, that’s right. He was doing his famous clap and bark when a ball got hit his way.
J: He had no idea it was coming.
B: That play alone may have cost the Humans that game.
J: Yea, but in his defense fans kept throwing fish out to him. Why were they throwing fish?
B: Well everyone knows Sammy is quite a seally seal.
J: That’s funny Bob.
B: Thanks, Jack.
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